Scary Reasons Why Dave Portnoy Should Stop Wearing Skinny Jeans

So a lot has been said about Dave Portnoy wearing skinny jeans including Dave defending himself by claiming that he was inspired to start wearing them after a trip of fashionable Italy. Now fashion and style is subjective, but what isn’t subjective are health facts and there are a number of health reasons why Dave Portnoy should stop wearing skinny jeans:

Urinary tract infection – When you apply pressure to the bladder it works less effectively. Leading to less toxins being emitted from the body. The toxins remaining in the body can lead to urinary tract infections.
Bladder problems – A combination of a less effective bladder and a build of toxins can lead to a weak bladder and sustained bladder problems.
‘Twisted Dick’ – This is more prominent amongst younger people but wearing skinny jeans can lead to the dick becoming malformed and ‘twisted;.
Low Sperm Count – Wearing skinny jeans can also reduce the flow of blood to the gonads This can lead to gonads producing less sperm, resulting in a lower sperm count.

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Yes skinny jeans maybe fashionable (or not) and yes I’m still pissed at letting go of Mantis in the middle of a pandemic and then going gambling with tens of thousands of dollars but there are serious and genuine health risks to wearing skinny jeans.